


Siempre

by LukasBondevik



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 18:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LukasBondevik/pseuds/LukasBondevik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanks to his brother, Lovino Vargas was given a job at a local attorneys' office of Carriedo and Beilschmidt. His relationship with the Spanish half of the firm seems to be rocky, when paper flowers start appearing on his desk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Siempre

Lovino was not amused.

He stared at the clock on his desk, gnawing at the inside of his cheek, waiting for the moment when the green, digital numbers flickered just one more time and read five o'clock, the time of freedom from this oppressive environment he'd been suckered into. The time seemed to move at half speed, and he willed it to go faster with just the power of his mind. At that moment he vowed to give his little brother a strong willed talking to for thinking he would enjoy this line of work, but in the meantime, the best he could do was try to keep the scowl off his face for one more minute.

His things were already packed into his bag, a leather over the shoulder satchel that he received from his grandfather for his twenty first birthday. It was a little gaudy for his tastes, but Lovino loved it anyway. Preemptively tugging at his tie, he carefully stepped out of his chair and slid it backwards on the wooden flooring as he stood up. He strung his bag over his shoulder with a quick motion, resting the leather strap against his collarbone. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the clock shone five, and Lovino darted quickly for the door and untucked his shirt as he went.

“Hey, Vargas!” Almost as if frozen, Lovino stopped short of the door and glowered, turning around to see who ruined his perfectly excellent escape into his newly found world of after work pizza and naptime. He scoffed, when he realized it was one of his esteemed employers. His hair was blonde and slicked back on his head in a show of professionalism and intimidation. Lovino had never actually been in the same room as him as he defended a client, but it wouldn't surprise him if half of the jury wet their pants in dismay. 

Though his eyes were ice blue, and piercing, Lovino never fell prey to their cold gaze, mostly because he knew better than to be afraid of him.

“What, Beilschmidt?” he groaned, resting his forehead against the door frame in a show of defiance, because this was just cruel. It was five. It was time for him to be home cuddling on the couch with Feliciano and eating pasta while watching really bad television. To climb in the shower and rejoice in the feeling of hot water and curl up in his soft sheets next to Feli and fall asleep.

Ludwig bristled, though Lovino chose to mostly ignore him. There was never a time that the man wasn't riled up about something. “That's Mr. Beilschmidt to you, Vargas. I can't believe I let Feliciano talk me into letting you work here! It has been, from the start, a complete failure! You take too long of breaks, microwave your pasta without covering it in the lunchroom, you leave at 4:58 every single day, and if I catch you chatting up female clients one more time I will have you thrown out!” Lovino shot him a scathing glare and motioned towards the door, disregarding everything that the man said. He wouldn't fire him, that was for sure. Feli would be distraught and Ludwig would never do such a thing to Lovino's little brother.

“Thank you for the update, Mr. Beilschmidt, but can I go home now? I'm hungry.” Ludwig stared him down, and for a moment Lovino felt the beginnings of a cold sweat break out on his forehead. Sometimes, maybe, he did take it too far with the man, but it was a little late to be backing out of this staring contest now. He was being ridiculous now, but Ludwig didn't blink and Lovino, for a moment, was stunned into silence.

A soft laugh sounded behind the man, and a warm voice chided them gently. “Ludwig, why don't you go easy on Mr. Vargas would you? He's new and just needs a little time adapting to our type of work atmosphere.” Finally breaking eye contact, with much relief, Lovino instead turned his attentions to the dark skinned man trailing out of the other office. His eyes were flashing in amusement at the situation and Lovino was most definitely not in the mood for his easy going personality.

He snapped, “Hey, no one asked you to intervene, Carriedo. I don't need you to come save me.” The man's grin only grew wider and Lovino felt an overwhelming sense of bemusement. He deliberately disrespected him constantly, and never once had the man gotten offended or irritated the way that Ludwig did on a regular basis. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo was a slim man, especially compared to his burly partner in the law firm, with shaggy brown hair and green eyes, with a backdrop of olive skin and a winning smile. Lovino hated to admit it to himself, but that smile tended to win him over more often than not, though he'd rather die than tell anyone.

“Whatever you say, Mr. Vargas,” he said simply, his smile wide as he locked his office door behind him. “Though, Ludwig, it is time to get out of here. Why don't you finish up and enjoy the rest of your evening, huh? I'm sure Mr. Vargas will be doing the same.” Antonio reached around Lovino's back to twist the doorknob and open the door, pressing a little too closely to him for his comfort. There was an uncomfortable moment of electricity where Antonio's forearm pressed ever so slightly against Lovino's back, but the moment was gone nearly as soon as it had started.

Lovino stared at Antonio for a moment before shrugging impatiently and hurrying out the door, grinding his teeth as he went. What a waste of time! He couldn't wait to get home to Feliciano and complain about the shitty day he had.

And it was only the first month since he started at Carriedo and Bielschmidt, Attorneys at Law, one of the most prestigious law firms in the state, as their secretary.

He hated it already.

…

“Feli!”

The door was louder than he expected when he slammed it shut behind him as he entered the home he shared with his younger brother. It wasn't large, like some of the other homes their families owned throughout the country, but it was roomy enough for the two of them. Though at the moment, Lovino wasn't actually feeling particularly sentimental about anything. Just pissed off and ready to eat something delicious.

“Ah, Lovino!” Feliciano's little voice could be heard from the living room, and the sound of the television ceased as he met his older brother in the hallway. It was obvious Lovino and Feliciano were brothers; from their facial structure, to their eyes, and the identical curls of hair that refused to stay put no matter how much brushing goes into it. “Welcome home from work, did you have fun? Did you see Ludwig today? How was Antonio?”

Before his brother could get any farther into questions, Lovino put up a hand and scowled. “Don't ask, Feli. Your boyfriend is a jerk and I hate my job and I don't care about Antonio. Can we please eat some pasta?” At the mention of the very food, Feliciano's face lit up and he scrambled towards the kitchen with his brother in tow, his stomach growling like some otherworldly beast that could only be satiated with some good old fashioned Italian cooking.

The night went exactly as Lovino planned it. He and his brother took over the couch and watched some soaps that were on the basic cable channels, stuffing their faces full of spinach and ricotta pasta that Feliciano whipped up in record time. But occasionally, when he was paying the least attention to Feli describe his day, or whatever was on the television, Lovino found himself recalling the intensity he felt when Antonio's arm was against his back.

It agitated him that the man was on his mind at all. The last thing Lovino wanted to be thinking about on his night off was work. So he managed to keep his mind on Feliciano the rest of the night the best he could, the two goofing around the house like they usually did. It was a welcome relief to come home and just relax instead of having Ludwig breathing down his neck all day. It wasn't like what he did was difficult! He answered phones and wrote appointments and occasionally ran to get that Spanish bastard some coffee from the Starbucks down the street

Obviously Ludwig was taking Lovino's position much too seriously. Finally, at a reasonable hour for the first time in his life, Lovino climbed into bed besides his brother, who insisted that he be well rested for work tomorrow.

Little jerk.

… 

“Mr. Vargas!” Lovino sat at his desk, eating a Tupperware filled to the brim with his favorite pasta dish, and glanced up to meet Antonio's deep green eyes for a moment, scowling. “Mind if I join you for lunch?” Before he could even reply with a scathing and unequivocal 'no,' Antonio pulled his chair out of his office and set it up on the left hand edge of Lovino's desk, pulling out a sub sandwich from a little shop down the street.

Grumbling, Lovino moved a few of the things on his desk out of the way to make more room, and snapped, “What do you want, Carriedo?” Looking genuinely offended, Antonio frowned at Lovino and put his sandwich down, furrowing his brow.

He asked, “Not interested in having lunch with your boss today?”

“No.”

For a moment Antonio seemed like he was going to laugh, but he managed to keep his expression neutral as he took a bite out of his sandwich. “That's not very nice to say Mr. Vargas. I'd like us to get to know each other better, if we could. Ludwig and I hired you on recommendation from Feliciano, but I really don't know much about you as a person. So humor me, would you?” Lovino's scowl grew more pronounced and he refused to answer Antonio's questions, but he also didn't ask him to leave him the hell alone either.

Which was odd, because he always told everyone, besides Feli, to leave him the hell alone on a regular basis. No wonder he didn't really have any friends.

Their lunch was silent for a while, until his boss mentioned, “You don't say a whole lot do you?”

Lovino rolled his eyes. “What do you expect from me? A song and dance number for your amusement? Why do you care so much anyway?” Antonio didn't answer for a moment, watching Lovino with such intensity that he nearly felt uncomfortable under the gaze. He couldn't handle looking at his face like that, the embarrassed flush threatening to bloom across his cheeks, and he wanted to slap himself. He needed to stop thinking that Antonio was so attractive, because all he did was piss himself off.

“You're my employee, it's good for me to know you better don't you think?” he responded polishing off the rest of his sandwich in record time, picking the tomatoes that had fallen off during his lunch and eating them separately.

“Whatever.” To his surprise, Antonio started to laugh, and Lovino stared at him in astonishment that quickly switched over to irritation. He ignored the butterflies Antonio's laugh gave him, and managed to look pissed off instead of enamored. “What is so damn funny?”

Antonio reigned in his chuckling and smiled brightly at Lovino, who was suddenly rendered speechless. “Ah, you're just so amusing Mr. Vargas. Sometimes I wonder why you're so angry all the time, but I think it's to protect a positively wonderful side of you that you don't like to share with everyone.” Lovino was going to snap back, but Antonio's face was so sure and he couldn't actually dispute the fact. Somehow, for another person say it out loud was a strange thing to hear. Antonio smiled at him, and moved back from the desk, and back into his own office.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, and by the end of his shift, he barely managed to forget about that dazzling smile that Antonio gave him earlier, the thought of it sending his heart into somersaults, which was utterly ridiculous. As he was packing up to leave, his phone buzzed loudly on his desk. He answered it, but before he could get a word in edgewise, Feliciano whined through the receiver, “Lovi! I am sorry but I can't come get you from work today I seemed to have popped three of the four tires on the car and I haven't even touched it since I dropped you off!”

“Feli!” Lovino cried, slumping down in his chair and resting his forehead on his desk. “I hate you, Feliciano, now I have to walk and it looks like it's going to rain! What is the matter with you?” He and his brother's loud conversation went on for another couple minutes before Lovino hung up with him, staring out the window in despair. He didn't even bother to pack an umbrella or anything because he was sure Feliciano was going to pick him up. What could he possible have done to the car?

He finally managing to extricate himself out of the sanctity of his office chair and into the real world, where he was going to have to walk four miles in the what would soon be rain. He exited the building and looked up at the cloudy sky, hoping that it wouldn't. But with his luck, it would probably be another world ending flood. Resigning himself to his fate and muttering foul things that he didn't really mean about Feliciano under his breath, Lovino started home, his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained at the ground.

He felt the first drop of rain hit him square on the nose, and a groan escaped his lips as it was soon followed by two, then four, then an uncountable number of drops began to drizzle on him, making Lovino squeal and duck for cover. Son of a bitch. He hurried along the sidewalk, trying his best to keep to the underneaths of trees and buildings, but not doing much to keep himself dry. A horn honked at him as he walked, and he flicked the person off without a single glance in their direction. He was in no mood for this today.

The horn honked again. “Hey, Lovino!” He turned on heel and caught the eyes of his dark haired employer, pulled over to the side of the road a few feet back from him. “Lovino, do you want a ride?” For a solid moment Lovino debated saying no and telling him to screw off, but the rain didn't seem like it was going to let up any time soon. Nodding, he hurried back to the vehicle and climbed in, shivering slightly at the abrupt change in temperature from the icy rain to the warm interior of the car. Antonio turned the heat up a little more as Lovino buckled his seat belt.

“Thanks,” he grumbled under his breath, and Antonio smiled at him, pulling back onto the street and heading in the direction Lovino was walking. “Turn left up here,” he added after a moment of silence, unsure of what to say to him.

“You're welcome,” Antonio replied gently, following his directions. “You should have said something before you left, I would have been more than happy to take you home.”

Lovino shrugged. “I don't need any favors from you.” They fell into silence again, with Lovino occasionally mentioning the directions to his house. Antonio pulled up in front of their house, seeming like he wanted to say something but unsure of how to go about doing it. The garage was open, and they both saw Ludwig underneath the car inside, fixing one of the tires while Feliciano stood by and chattered away to him.

“Lovino,” Antonio said hesitantly, and he turned to his employer, an eyebrow raised. “Just so you know, if you ever need something like this, you can ask, I don't mind at all. It's not like you'll have to owe me anything for me driving five minutes out of my way to take you home.”

“Don't worry about it Carriedo, I don't need anything from you.”

“Shit Lovino, I'm not saying you do. I'm just trying to be nice, and you constantly throw it back in my face. What for?” Lovino remained silent, his mouth skewed into a frown as he was tempted to snap back. 

Life is too short to keep quiet about the truth. “Because no one does things because they're nice,” he replied. “They do things because they want something in return.” Antonio watched him for a moment, his mouth slightly open because he was not sure what to say to Lovino. His eyes watched over Antonio's face, taking in the gentle curves of his cheeks and the olive skin, his ruffled brown hair and unsure green eyes.

“Who made you like this?” he asked softly, reaching out and taking Lovino's hand. The touch sent sparks up his arm, and he resisted the urge to pull away, their skin attracting like the most powerful magnets in the world. They stared at each other for a long while as the rain pattered heavily overhead, the crack of thunder far off in the distance. It was strange, the thunder used to frighten him, as he and Feliciano cowered under the covers from it, but in that moment he felt safer than he ever had in his entire life.

He gnawed at the inside of his cheek. “It's nothing,” he replied finally, and Antonio squeezed his hand, causing Lovino to look away and back towards his home. Feliciano and Ludwig were sitting next to each other in the garage, Feli curled up against the man's chest and pressing short, sweet kisses to his face. Lovino could never understand how they made a relationship like that work, in all his life. Ludwig seemed so wrong for Feliciano, too different, and yet they were perfectly matched. “Ah, Feli looks like he's busy though.”

Antonio laughed, his smile slipping into something that seemed a little too friendly. “We could be busy, too.” Lovino nearly cricked his neck as he turned to glance back at Antonio, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed so hotly he wouldn't be surprised if someone could cook an egg on his face. He retracted his hand back from Antonio's quickly and stammered for a moment, groping for the handle for the door to the car without looking away from his laughing face. “Oh, Lovino, you're too perfect for this world.”

“What the hell does that mean, you bastard?” he demanded, feeling the shame of his voice cracking as he finally gripped the silver handle to release the passenger side door. The man grasped his hand again and brought his fingers to his mouth, pressing a kiss to them. Lovino thought he might burn up into ashes as he pulled back his hand again and stumbled out of the car, feeling hot and bothered and unsure of what just happened.

“Lovi!” Feliciano greeted, pulling himself out of Ludwig's grasp and bounding up through the rain to his brother. “Are you okay? You look like you have a fever! Do you need anything? Soup? Tea? Pasta?” Lovino didn't know how to work his vocal chords, and he passed Feliciano and Ludwig in the garage. He glanced up for a moment at his other employer's face, but Ludwig was not paying attention to him, instead glancing past him towards the street. Lovino turned back, and saw that Antonio was still parked there, and Feliciano turned around as well.

In front of everyone, Antonio pressed his hand to his mouth and blew a kiss to Lovino before driving off. Lovino was in the house before anyone could say anything to him, wondering if it was possible to die of embarrassment.

… 

Lovino sat alone on the loveseat after work the next day, a bowl of popcorn resting on his legs and the room dimmed to an appropriate lighting. It took a lot of prodding and oaths from both his brother and Ludwig not to say anything about Antonio for Lovino to finally have him leave his room. Feliciano was still bustling around in the kitchen, making snacks for their movie night, and Ludwig was sitting stiffly on the other couch, staring at the menu for the movie they were about to watch.

He really had no idea what movie they were going to watch, he was just pleased with his bowl of popcorn and his soft blanket and comfortable couch. He was happy it was the weekend, time to relax with no work worries, besides the constant reminder of Ludwig out of the corner of his eyes, but he wasn't too worried about that. The doorbell rang suddenly, and Feliciano darted out of the fridge with a dopey smile on his face that made Lovino chuckle, just a little bit, under his breath.

“Ah, you made it!” Feli shouted happily as he opened the door. “Come on in!” Lovino blinked, and looked towards the front door, wondering who else Feliciano could have invited to this little movie night. He felt his heart stop and his breath hitch as Antonio entered into their home. Oh, god, no he didn't get dressed today, and his hair was a disaster and he probably looked homeless and... shit, when did he start caring so damn much?

Antonio entered the room, looking sharp and smiling widely, his eyes fixed on nothing but Lovino as he walked in. “Hello, Lovino!” he greeted, taking off his blazer and flopping down onto the loveseat next to him. 

“What the hell is he doing here?” Lovino demanded furiously, nearly upsetting his bowl of popcorn as he twisted around in the couch to glare at Feliciano, who was just exiting the kitchen with plates of snacks. He caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror by the kitchen door, and saw that his face, rather than flushing, was pallid. How could one person put him through the emotional wringer as easily as this?

“Ah!” Feliciano said worriedly, putting the trays and plates down on the coffee table and turning to his brother, grasping Lovino's hands. “I'm sorry Lovi, I didn't know you wouldn't want him here! I just thought it would be polite to invite him since Ludwig is here and you're here and you both know him and Antonio is just so nice!”

He grunted, “Whatever, Feli, let's just watch this movie.” Feliciano frowned and moved back to the main couch with Ludwig and curled up happily next to him. Ludwig put his arm around his brother's shoulders and Lovino grimaced; he was a little jealous of how much they cared about each other. Out of the corner of his eye he noted Antonio watching him and ignored him, picking up the remote and pressing the play button. 

As much as he wished he could carefully watch the movie, the knowledge that Antonio was less than six inches away from him kept his attention easily away from the screen. “Ah this is the best part.” He felt Antonio's breath on his ear and repressed a shudder from running up his spine, his brow furrowed in concentration to prevent himself from turning around into that mouth. Antonio settled back into the loveseat and put his arm around the back, across Lovino's shoulder, and he shot the man a dirty look. The Spaniard merely shrugged and turned his gaze back to the movie, a smug grin playing around his mouth.

Lovino, though, nearly in Antonio's embrace, began to feel warm and tired. He hadn't slept well the past couple of nights, and the comfort of the loveseat as well as, though he hated to admit it to himself, Antonio being nearby, made him feel at ease. Unable to keep his eyes open any longer, he leaned back into Antonio's chest, deciding that if he said anything about it, he would just tell him he passed out and he shouldn't sit so close to him next time! Before his brain completely went to sleep, Lovino felt Antonio place his arms around his waist, and press a kiss to the back of his head.

Too tired to protest effectively, Lovino fell asleep.

He woke up later to the soft chatter of his brother and employers, and he realized with a start that he was still clasped protectively in Antonio's grasp, curled up precariously in his lap, and Antonio was petting back his hair softly. “No, don't worry about it Ludwig,” Antonio said with a laugh, resting his one hand on Lovino's side as he shifted slightly. Good, Lovino thought fiercely, I hope you're uncomfortable, as uncomfortable as I am right now, you bastard.

“Ah, I'm glad Lovino is finally sleeping,” Feliciano said quietly. Lovino could practically feel the eyes of the room centered on him. “He's been so restless the past couple of nights, I haven't been sure what to do.”

Antonio's voice sounded over him. “I think Ludwig is stressing him out at work.” There was laughter, and Ludwig released a disgruntled groan. Lovino wasn't sure the best way to move out of the situation without seeming like he'd been listening the whole time. Not to mention the fact of the embarrassment of facing Antonio after being held like this for who knows how long. The movie was no longer playing, so it could have been a couple of hours.

“It's getting late,” he heard Ludwig sigh. “We should be heading to bed soon, Feli.” Feliciano simpered his approval, and Lovino heard the clanks of the dishes being cleared up from the coffee table. “What should we do about your brother?”

Feliciano called back from the kitchen, “Well we could tuck him in on the couch, or carry him to his bed! Either way, I'm sure he'll be grumpy when he wakes up.” Lovino wanted to snap at him, but he became aware of the motion of Antonio lifting him out of his lap and onto the couch gingerly, trying and failing to smooth back a cowlick on his bangs.

“I'll carry him up if you show me where to go!” the man volunteered, and Lovino felt his face grow warm, no matter how hard he tried to repress the feeling. Feliciano agreed, and Lovino felt himself being hoisted up bridle style into Antonio's arms.

Feliciano said quickly after they had ascended the staircase, “Ah, Antonio, we should probably put him in his own bedroom. He likes to sleep in mine with me sometimes but Ludwig is spending the night tonight and—”

“Ah, say no more,” Antonio cut him off quickly, laughter in his voice as Ludwig's disgruntled cry of you don't tell people about that Feliciano! was heard from the hallway. The nearly silent swing of his bedroom door caught his ear and he heard his brother fix the bedsheets for him to be put in. Once he was in, Lovino heard one set of footsteps leave the room, and Feliciano's voice sounded rather far away as he started to talk to Ludwig. Meaning Antonio was still in the room.

Bastard. What is he doing? he thought to himself in irritation. Antonio placed a hand on his cheek suddenly, and pressed a short kiss to his forehead before walking out and closing the door quietly behind him. Lovino waited a moment before sitting up in bed, his hands to his hot cheeks and a confusing amount of fury radiating through him. “Damn that bastard,” he whispered to himself, burying his face in his pillow.

…

When Lovino entered the office the next Friday morning, the first thing he noted was that Antonio's door was closed. It was a little odd, as his boss almost always kept his door propped open. Even when he took calls Lovino could hear his voice floating back out towards him, the warm tenor riddled with laughter and innuendo that he couldn't quite place. But he didn't mind; he was nervous about seeing Antonio after what happened the day before. He hung his bag on the back of his chair and it wasn't until he sat down at his desk that he noticed something else.

Sitting right on top of his keyboard was a beautifully folded, richly colored red paper rose. He stared at it for a moment, still half asleep from waking up so early, something that he still wasn't used to yet. Picking it up gingerly, Lovino examined it with only minor curiosity before tossing it aside into the waste basket to the right of his desk and starting to set up for work. He didn't even have a chance to think on the thing before he began to be swamped with calls.

It wasn't until around lunchtime, as he sat eating the leftovers from dinner the night before, that he remembered Antonio was still missing. He turned in his chair and almost called over to Ludwig, until he was interrupted by the man himself entering the office. His hair was fixed perfectly, and he looked like less of a bum and more like the lawyer he actually was. As much as Lovino hated to admit it, he also looked rather dashing in his dark tailored suit and blue tie that Lovino had to shake himself out of a daze. It took him much too long to realize he was staring at Antonio with his mouth slightly open and full of leftover ricotta cheese.

Antonio chuckled, giving Lovino a wink, and walked past his desk to the office seemingly unaware of the fierce blush of embarrassment that was creeping over Lovino's cheeks. The Spaniard glanced down and paused for a moment, an indiscernible expression taking over his features for a split second before he continued on towards his office, somehow significantly less smug than before. 

It was strange to see Antonio without the characteristic grin on his face, but he decided he didn't care and didn't let it bother him anymore.

After his too short weekend, Lovino found himself back at the office with another paper flower nestled on his desk, this time next to the phone. He stared at it absently, wondering who the hell would even bother giving him something like this, and tossed it straight into the garbage bin again. The sight of the construction paper bothered him for a little bit, and he turned his gaze back to the computer screen to get his mind off of them. Paper flowers? Why?

He bit his lip. Someone was obviously playing a prank on him and he didn't like it one bit. No one just gave him sweet things like that without him being the butt of a punchline, another notch in their belt, and he wasn't going to fall for it. Not this time. He already embarrassed himself enough for one lifetime.

“Excuse me, Mr. Vargas, who is my ten o'clock?” Antonio's voice called from the office, snapping him out of his thoughts and reminding him that he was at work. Lovino picked up the planner, feeling disgruntled as he walked back towards him, the sounds of his footfalls the only noise in the entire suite. He stood before Antonio's desk for a moment, flipping pages until he arrived at the proper date, circling it with a red marker in case Antonio was too stupid to figure it out himself. Without a word he tossed the planner onto the man's desk and turned to leave. “Ah, Lovino?”

A tenuous shudder ran up his spine at the sound of Antonio saying his name, and he frowned, slightly put off by the feeling. “What?”

“Please, tell me. Are you all right?”

“What do you care?” Antonio did not answer, but their eyes did not break contact for what seemed like forever, and Lovino could feel the flush creeping up on him again. This wasn't fair, not even a little bit. Why did the bastard have to be so damn appealing? Why did he have to actually seem to give a shit? It bothered Lovino for reasons he chose not to ponder on. “I'm great, thanks for the check up, Carriedo,” he replied in his most sardonic tone. He turned on heel and found himself back at his desk, once again, staring at the paper rose in the waste bin and wondering if he should just keep it.

He decided against such a silly idea.

Throughout the next week, his waste basket was filled to the brim with a dozen paper roses. Carefully folded, artfully pieced together, and a huge waste of time in Lovino's opinion. He glared down at the newest one at his desk, examining the stem and resisting the urge to smash it underneath his palm. “Vargas!” Lovino jumped violently and spun around, a hand over his racing heart at the sudden call and saw Ludwig staring at him.

“What do you want, you bastard?” he answered loudly, trying to hide his fright, though wondering after the fact if it was such a good idea to call his boss that. The man didn't seem too perturbed by it however, and Lovino suspected he was used to the insults hurled at him from the elder Vargas brother throughout the interim of his and Feli's relationship.

“I was just going to let you know that I'm meeting Feliciano for lunch, and he asked me to have you come along.” Lovino frowned and gave Ludwig his best glare, tapping his fingers against the desk impatiently. 

He answered, “The last thing I'd ever want to do is sit and have lunch with you, you potato loving jerk!” Instead of looking insulted, his employer merely looked baffled and Lovino turned away, unable to think of an actual decent excuse why he couldn't go see his brother and have lunch with him. But it was already said, and Ludwig left without him, leaving him alone in the office, as Antonio was in court again today.

For a moment, he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself as he batted the paper rose back and forth between his fingers, glaring at the thing in irritation. He flicked the top of it, hoping to land it in the trash can, but instead the paper rolled open as it flew off the desk, and Lovino noticed that something was written inside of it. He ducked under his desk and picked the red paper off the floor, holding it close to his face.

Quiero hacerte el amor.

Lovino stared at it for a moment, an eyebrow raised. The handwriting was messy, and he couldn't decipher the language. Amor. That was pretty easy, it was close to the Italian word for love, and the thought aroused a feeling deep in his gut that felt suspiciously like nausea. But the rest, he wasn't sure. But if this one has writing on it, what about the others? Suddenly in motion, Lovino dug through his trash can and pulled out the rest of the roses, careful not to crush the paper buds. He tossed them all on his desk haphazardly, electricity rolling through his veins.

Licking his lips, he unrolled one of them, and flattened the sheet out.

Will you go to dinner with me?

His insides flip flopped as he pushed that one aside, tearing into the next one and feeling almost sick to his stomach. He had them all torn open, a dozen of them, and he read through them with a fervor he had never known before. Before, all he could do was ignore them, and now all he wanted to do was know what they said, who wrote them, why someone would even bother wasting their time on him.

You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

Let's have lunch today.

I can't stop thinking about you.

Will you be mine?

I want to see you smile for me.

Will you take me home tonight?

I can't see myself with anyone but you.

You leave me breathless.

Lovino, how do you do this to me?

Lovino's heart pounded in his chest, and he stood up from the desk, toppling his chair over as he read through the roses, his chest aching staring at the pieces of paper in shock and dismay. There was no way this person was serious, there was no way anyone could ever possibly see anything in him besides the anger and sarcasm and overall ridiculousness that made up his personality. How could anyone ever be attracted to him in any way? 

There was no way. This had to be a joke. A huge fucking joke, and someone was going to laugh their ass off at him later for this. Lovino blinked back tears and knocked all the papers to the floor in a mess of red and green. He hefted his bag onto his shoulder and made to leave; he could take an hour lunch right now, get away from this place and clear his head. He didn't want Ludwig to come back and see him like this, or heaven forbid Antonio. There would be questions he wouldn't want to answer.

He twisted the doorknob but it was pushed open before he even made to move it himself and was nearly tossed backwards as Antonio strutted through the door. His face was smug as he took off his jacket, hanging it on the stand and talking to Lovino as he moved. “We won the case,” he said casually, though it was obvious he was trying to hide his excitement. “All in all it was a pretty easy one, and I'm not surprised but—”

Antonio finally caught Lovino's eyes, and he tried to hide his face, but there was no way. His cheeks were tear stained and his eyes most likely bloodshot from crying. His hand was still on the inner doorknob, but his arms were shaking, and all he wanted to do was leave. “Excuse me, Mr. Carriedo,” he pleaded, hoping that the man wouldn't ask any questions.

“Lovino! What's the matter? What happened to you?”

No such luck, apparently.

He scoffed, “What are you talking about? I'm just trying to get by you, you jerk, so I can get some pizza in me. I'm hungry as hell.” Antonio looked baffled and glanced around behind the office, his eyes coming to rest at the construction paper on the floor. He stared at it, and Lovino realized he probably should have thrown them away before anyone came back. How embarrassing.

“Lovino,” he said quietly, meeting back with Lovino's eyes, searching them for some sort of meaning behind what was going on. The concern there made his stomach tighten, and he tried to ignore the pounding of his heart. He was so, so foolish, but he couldn't deny the feelings he had nor the attraction he felt for Antonio.

“It's nothing Carriedo, just someone playing a joke on me.” His voice sounded more on edge than he would have liked, but there was nothing to be done for it. There was no way he was going to show that this affected him so much.

Antonio's expression twinged slightly, but to what, Lovino could not determine right away. “A joke?” he asked, a hint of hurt in his voice. “What do you mean?” Antonio moved by Lovino to the mess on the floor and gathered up all the sheets, laying them out on his desk.

Lovino's chance to leave came and went, he realized, as he stiffly moved his way back towards Antonio. He couldn't just run away because Antonio would follow him. He would make sure he was all right, and the thought of it made him feel sick. “Someone asshole has been writing these notes to me and there's no way they're serious, you know? People don't just... Especially to me...” His voice faded and he felt a wave of shame crash over him as Antonio stared at him, expressionless, and Lovino lost any words that could have formed on his tongue.

“Lovi,” Antonio said carefully, turning away from the notes, the expression in his green eyes a sharp contrast from when he had first entered the room. He held his breath, watching the man, unsure of what to say. “I'm not playing a joke on you.” His jaw dropped, and he stared at Antonio, the nausea in his stomach almost reaching the breaking point.

He chuckled hollowly. “Good one...?” He wasn't sure what to say, but judging by the look on the man's face, it definitely was not that.

Antonio reached for Lovino's shoulders, his eyes imploring. “It's not a joke, can't you see that?” Lovino backed up before Antonio could touch him, feeling a little betrayed that this man would even act like this was okay. Be a part of the in joke with whomever orchestrated this.

“Shut up, Carriedo. That's not funny.” Antonio looked like he was, for once, at a loss for words but Lovino did not pity him. He merely hiked his bag up on his shoulder and turned for the door, silently hoping that the Spaniard would follow, and in equal measures hoping he would not. He reached the ground floor without a call of his name, or the thud of footsteps or a kind hand on his wrist, and knew that what he previously thought was true.

Antonio couldn't care less.

…

“Lovi!” Feliciano stretched out the last syllable of his name for what seemed like forever, sitting on the floor next to his bed and staring at his brother in confusion. Lovino hadn't gone to work in a week, despite all the phone calls from Antonio wondering what happened to him, and from Ludwig threatening to fire him. He suspected his brother had something to do with the fact that he had yet to be fired.

He didn't even need that stupid job anyway. He took it to fill his boring days of doing nothing, seeing no one. Feliciano filled his time with spending time with Ludwig, Lovino spent his days curled up in his bed on the computer, wondering when he was actually going to do something with his life. He hadn't gotten out of bed in nearly three days, and he was beginning to feel a little bit on the disgusting side, but he didn't actually care at this point.

Who was he trying to impress?

Feliciano gave up trying to talk to him after an hour or two, and Lovino sighed as his phone rang on his bedside table for the fourth time that day. Antonio Carriedo's name flashed on the screen, and all it did was fill his stomach with a mixed feeling of disappointment and anxiety induced nausea. He never asked for this. He never asked to feel so much for Antonio, he never asked to be hurt and made fun of, he never asked for the events leading up to this point.

All Lovino wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die. He buried his face into his pillow, trying to ignore the vibrating of his phone yet again. Antonio sure was persistent, but Lovino couldn't face him, he just couldn't.

With a crash, his door was thrown open and he shrieked, nearly throwing himself out of bed in terror as Feliciano stood there with a grin and Ludwig's arm against what was left of his door, looking rather disgruntled. “Lovi, I wasn't sure what was going on so I enlisted Ludwig's help you see, I didn't think I could get to you any other way!” He kissed the man briefly and ushered him away from the room, which he did without complaint, though his eyes looked incredibly angered as they met Lovino's for a moment before disappearing.

“What the hell was that about?” Lovino demanded loudly, throwing everything he had within arms' reach at Feliciano, who had a poor time ducking from any of it. His cell phone hit his brother directly in the middle of the forehead, and the boy squealed in pain, flopping forward onto Lovino's bed with his hand pressed directly onto the inflicted area. The cell phone clattered to the floor as another one of Antonio's calls remained unanswered, and the screen dimmed.

He whined, “Why do you have to be so mean, Lovi?” He didn't answer his brother, just glared down at him until Feliciano rolled completely onto the bed and curled up tightly against Lovino's legs, throwing his arm over his lap and burying his face in the sheets. “What's the matter? You've been so down lately, and Ludwig says you haven't been at work! I've been so worried for you Lovino but you won't talk to me either.”

Lovino glanced down at Feliciano and put a hand against this hair, frowning slightly. “I just don't think I should work there anymore, that's all Feli.”

“Why?”

He sighed, and brushed hair out of his brother's face when he turned to face him. “Because Antonio and I don't really get along, and I'm sure he's better off.”

Feliciano shook his head. “Ludwig has told me very differently Lovi. Are you sure?”

Suddenly interested, he demanded, “What did he say?” Feliciano opened his mouth to say, but his phone began to vibrate again, Antonio's name once again legible on the screen, and Lovino dove to the floor to pick it up, smashing the end call button with gusto. “What did he say, Feli?”

Stunned for a moment, Feli's mouth was slightly agape. “That, uh,” he stammered, trying to regain his train of thought. “Antonio has been interested in only his work and has gotten pretty scary and mean because you rejected him?” Lovino stared blankly at his brother, trying to comprehend the very idea that Antonio could actually and honestly be that interested in him. He bit his lip and glanced to his list of missed calls, Antonio's name the last five in the list.

“You should call him.” He looked up at the door and saw that Ludwig was standing there, leaning against the frame, his blue eyes set in a glare. His arms were crossed over his chest, and for the first time since he met the man, he was a little bit scared of him. “I'm not sure what you did to him, but you need to fix it, some way or another.” Feliciano pressed a kiss to his brother's cheek and led Ludwig out by the hand, closing the door behind him. Lovino stared at the closed aperture, his thumb hovering over the dialpad on his phone for what seemed like an eternity. 

He shook his head. This was something he needed to do in person, something that he couldn't really portray with a stupid phone call. Before he even realized he had moved, Lovino was down the staircase and leapt onto the laps of his brother and Ludwig, who, moments before, were deep in conversation. He decided to ignore their protests as he aggressively interrogated Ludwig for Antonio's address. Once he received it, he ran out the door, pretending he could not hear his younger brother's voice. The rain was still falling overhead, as it had been on and off the past couple of dreary weeks.

Lovino's face was pressed to the screen of his phone, the map application lit up against the dismal gray sky. Antonio only lived three miles away, probably an hour's walk if he was quick about it. Lovino gnawed the inside of his cheek. The time went by slowly as he made his way to Antonio's house, his mind full of thoughts that he simply could not chase away.

…

Antonio was surprised when his phone rang. It was nearing nighttime, almost six or seven hours since the last time he tried to call Lovino, and had finally given up on the matter. There was nothing more he could do; if the man didn't wish to speak with him, then he wasn't going to speak with him. That was that. He wasn't going to force Lovino to acknowledge his existence if he didn't want to. He picked up the device and disconnected the charging cable, the happy face of Feliciano lighting up the screen. 

“Hey, Feli,” he greeted quietly, running his fingers through his hair.

“Antonio!” Feli's voice was full of fear, octaves higher than it usually was and tears were apparent in the stuffy sound of his throat. “Antonio! It's Lovi!” A rock fell into his stomach, the sudden feeling of dread washing over his body in a suffocating wave. Oh no. He sat back down in his desk chair, gripping the armrest with his free hand. “He's been hit, he was walking to your house and I told him not to go but he did and now he's hurt. Antonio! What should I do?”

“Where are you?” Antonio demanded, pushing the desk out of the way violently and causing a vase to smash to the wooden flooring, shattering into thousands of pieces. He ignored it, feeling his heart pound violently in his chest.

Feliciano cried, another couple of octaves being reached by the end of his statement, “We are at my place, Antonio! Ludwig got Lovi from the street and, oh, is he worse for wear! We're going to call for an ambulance!”

“I'll be right there!” Antonio hung up the phone, and nearly ripped the rack from the wall as he pulled his jacket from it, fishing his car keys out of the pocket and storming out of his house into the pouring rain. Of course. Stupid people driving recklessly in this weather! That guy, he had to be out in this, just coming to see him. Of all the ridiculous ideas. He should have driven himself or gotten Feli or Ludwig to drive him or something!

Despite his terror and his fury, Antonio drove carefully, as their home was close by and there was no reason to endanger anyone else because of this. His entire body shook and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to park straight in the driveway. He didn't care. He threw open the car door and hurried to the door of the house, throwing it open without bothering to knock. “Lovi!” he called out, not bothering to remove his coat or shoes before he burst into the living room.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, as Ludwig watched Antonio with an apologetic expression and the Vargas brothers curled up on the couch with each other, Feliciano sobbing loudly and energetically as Lovino screamed profanities at random intervals, interspersed with random bits of Italian. “Lovino?” He turned to look at Antonio and glared at him, his teeth grinding and his hands balled into fists.

“This is your fault, you churro eating bastard!” he accused, trying to jump to his feet, but merely letting out a squeal of pain and toppling over onto his face as his leg gave out underneath him. “All your fault,” he murmured into the carpet and Feliciano leapt from the couch to his side, his hands fluttering around him, unsure of what to do. “I hate you so much, you need to just go and die already okay? I'm sick of you and your shit.”

Antonio, thoroughly confused by the seemingly whole state of Lovino, turned to the only sane person in the room. Ludwig put a hand against his forehead and grumbled, “I told him not to bother you, Antonio. But they never listen to me. Lovino is fine—”

“That's easy for you to say, you jerk! I'm dying!”

“—aside from a minor ankle sprain and a broken toe that he received from being plowed over by a seventy year old security guard on a Segway.” The silence grew awkward again, Lovino's sniffles heard in the background as Feliciano helped him off the floor and replaced the bag of ice on his ankle. Suddenly, Antonio was laughing, loudly and nearly maniacally, startling the other three occupants in the room. 

He moved to sit next to Lovino on the couch, took his face in his hands, and kissed him on the forehead, startling Feli into a squeal. Lovino bristled and pushed Antonio's face away roughly, demanding, “Who the hell said you could do that, you bastard?!” 

“I couldn't help myself,” he answered plainly, watching out of the corner of his eye as Ludwig picked up Feliciano bodily and toted him from the room, ignoring his questions. Silence fell, as the two men looked at each other, the laughter still evident in Antonio's face, the embarrassment still obvious on Lovino's. “Lovi, I was so scared. I thought you were really hurt or dying. I've never felt that terrified in my life.”

He huffed, “No one asked you to! What difference would it have made, huh? You find a new secretary, life goes on.”

“You don't seem to get it,” Antonio said with a frown, lightly touching the back of Lovino's hand. When he didn't pull away, he gripped it tightly, and pressed it to his lips. “Lovino, you're not merely just secretary, my partner's boyfriend's brother, some man I met in what I feel is the best moment of my life, the moment you walked in the door to work for us for the first time.” He interlaced his fingers with Lovino's, smiling at the confused expression, the blush creeping around the apples of his cheeks, his mouth curved down in a frown. He pulled a paper flower out of his inner coat pocket, one he had planned to give Lovino the day after he had realized they had messages.

He grabbed it out of Antonio's hand and unfurled it, tearing the tape from the edges and reading the message inscribed. “Te amo,” he murmured, his brow furrowed and Antonio watched him for a moment as he mouthed the words to himself.

“It means—”

Lovino threw his arms around his neck and pulled Antonio on top of him, kissing him so aggressively that for a moment he was stunned. His elbows easily found purchase on the couch cushion around Lovi's head, straddling his hips with his body low and pressed up against Lovino's. He shifted his weight to a more comfortable position, and was surprised at the aggression that his secretary was showing. It was an interesting twist on his normal demeanor.

“Gah!” Lovino suddenly squealed loudly, sitting up abruptly and dumping Antonio unceremoniously on the floor where he sat, in a daze, the ghost of the feel of their lips pressed together making him light headed. “Be careful you bastard!” he hissed, readjusting the ice back onto his ankle and crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at Antonio. 

He chuckled under his breath. “Of course, mi amor,” he said with a laugh, deciding to instead tuck Lovino under his arm and curl up next to him on the couch, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. After trying, and failing, to smooth down the curl that always popped up near his bangs, Antonio fell into a contented silence, feeling the rise and fall of Lovino's chest against his side.

“Why?” Lovino asked a few minutes later, his face buried into Antonio's shirt. “Why me?”

Smiling he ruffled up a his hair and answered, “You don't seem to see how absolutely breathtaking you are, Lovi. The moment I met you I fell a little in love with you. The way you frowned at everything, how you acted like everything was beneath you and yet you tried hard at it anyway, your contempt that just hid how much you really yearned for attention.” Lovino didn't say anything, but he snuggled closer to Antonio, wrapping his arm around the man's waist gingerly, almost as if he was afraid of rejection.

He grumbled, “Those are stupid reasons.”

“Maybe, but they are my own.” There was silence as Antonio stroked Lovino's hair. Something was mumbled into his shirt, completely unintelligible and he hummed, confused, “Hm?”

Thought his voice was soft, and slightly begrudging, he repeated, “I love you.” 

“And I you,” he said, kissing him once again just to get the sweet taste of his mouth. Lovino had given him the world with those words. Given him air and hope and a future that he could see himself living in for the rest of his life. “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Valerie gave me the idea for this fic, and beta'd it for me, both of which are much appreciated.


End file.
